Tuesday, 1 May 2012

Photo Thirty Seven [Here's To The Moments]

Here's to the moments of perfect clarification.  Ones in which you realise, or sometimes just remember, that although there are so many options in the world, the thing that you want is...........

Let me explain, perhaps.
I've had an amazing weekend.  I went out on Friday with my friend Alex and his friends and my friend Lottie, and had a great laugh (that's where the photo above is from.  I don't know who the guy is, but yano, he was there for a bit, an' ting).  I went out on Saturday with Lottie and another friend called Georgie and we went to what was basically a rave which was absolutely amazing.  We danced with Georgie's flatmates who are amazing!
On Sunday I got to see my man and relax.  On Monday I accidentally went out again; I left mine with a friend under the false pretense of going to buy a pan for Rob, my flatmate whose pans were thrown out of the window by said friend a while back.  We proceeded to get cocktails, drink half a bottle of gin each, and the rest of the day is a bit of a blur.

When I spend time with my Monday friend (inbetweeners moment) at the moment it's really nice, honestly, because we seem to be on the same page about a few things like the people in the flat and everything.  For the past couple of times we've been talking we've had really nice conversations that have been quite in depth.  I've really enjoyed them.  We were doing this while lying on the beach yesterday, drinking gin.

Unfortunately, after this, he got pretty flirty.  Again.
I'm fully aware that I am a flirtatious person.  There is no point in denying it because it would be an outright lie.  However, it is high time to, next time I'm drunk with him, say - essentially - "bitch, no".  It's only fair, and all that.

So the moment that I've just enjoyed is the one that made me scared for a moment: would I cheat on Henrik with him if I was drunk enough?
Answer: No.

What a lovely feeling it is, knowing things like that.  I like trusting myself more.
And I think I have my Viking to thank.

It's weird being in a relationship which is likely to have an end date.  Of course, if it's the price of being with Henrik then there's not exactly a problem with it, because he is good for me and frankly at the moment I need him.  But sometimes I wish I didn't know that it would end.. Even though it will be "getting back together as friends", rather than a breakup, it's still not an amazing feeling.  But as I said, if that's the price of being with him, then that's just fine.

Having said all that, it's kinda clear to me that every time someone has thought that a relationship between me and him could last forever, I haven't, and I've ended up breaking his heart.  Not that I feel like a bitch or anything.  And anyway, there's a long time to go between here and then.

I can't wait to see him.  Have him kiss me on the back of my neck.  Have him bend his legs into mine when he spoons me.
Those are some of the every day moments that I just won't forget.

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