Tuesday, 30 June 2009

Day 280

I spent today - amazingly enough - with Jack.  He slept over the night before, cause he was invited randomly, so we spent the morning watching My Wife and Kids, The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air and Raven, then went to get my photos from Boots.  On the way back we randomly went to Waterstones and read a relationship advise book (we did it wrong but found it amusing), and I was very curious about a book about female orgasms and masturbation.  Apparently it's good for you.

We then got back to Jack's, had a late and yummeh lunch, and I drank a lot of apple juice.  I then realised that I'd forgotten my photos in Waterstones - the genius that I am - so we went back into town and got them.  I had an unhappy tummy on the way back, which wasn't vair nice, but owel - it was fine.
Then watched The Simpsons and House and spoke to Sam.
Jack then walked me home and teased me with a dream he won't fully tell me about.
Since then, I've been talking to my mum a bit and my Nana a bit less, and been online.  Organised to see Ice Age 3 with Patrick on Saturday which should be good. 

Photo taken in Waterstones.
Wild or what?
Should probably have more of me in it, but I really don't care.

Day 279

And I quote:

Felt crap for a lot of the evening, so Jack came round and bought me a cake, which was great.  It was a good evening with interesting events, and new feelings; I found.

Monday, 29 June 2009

Day 278

I don't much like this picture of me, but it's the only on i took - that i've found so far anyway.

I spent today with Kati at Hickstead.  It was genius.  We took millions of photos (which are freakishly similar even though we took them without trying to time them the same or anything.  Not least because that'd be a crap thing to spend your time doing.) and laughed about beveridge coolers (a.k.a. fridges), stalked Claire Balding (well, looked at her on a hill and Kati obsessed), saw Jodie Kidd (though she lost her race, she was Jodie Kidd, which makes up for it) and Kati bought socks and an umbrella.

Not to mention chips.

The commentator was really funny.  He was introducing someone and said "so here's...Jeffry Osbourne! Hello Jeffry!"

Lotsa photos.
Check Flickr (sometime soon maybe =/) if interested.

Saturday, 27 June 2009

Day 277

You know how I have these "friends" who are meant to want me being around.?
They're pretty dumb.  For example.
Skah: You have taken Cat from us..
Millie: I don't know who Cat is

Being in a crap mood, that's just made me feel hollow.

I better be distracted from this fucking mood.

Day 276

Today was my dad's unofficial birthday, so we went out for lunch.  As soon as I got back I went riding - having brought some rather fetching trainer socks because apart from them I have none which stop far below my knee - and was on Willis.  Ray advised not to buy him, because he's too much of a risk (which I think will just make it easier becasue I don't think my dad would've for the exact same reason - Ray'll probably just say "fair enough" when I say no, now), but I'm definately having him for the two months.  I'm looking forwards to a good ride on my ownsies on Weds morning.
When I got back from riding, I went to Jack's, he fed me and played me his MJ megamix, impressive I say, then went back to mine, where we watched a bit of Forrest Gump (ilovethatmovie) and then went to bed.  It was nice.  Vair nice.  

Day 275

Prom day!
I don't have any photos of my dress on my computer so won't put them on - durr - but may or may not update.

Spent day with Fi then had my hair done by my awesome hairdresser.  It looked coolses. Jah. [=

Wednesday, 24 June 2009

Day 274

I have decided to do today's post in a series of bullet points.
And categories.
Cos i'm cool.
And have a bullet point button.
And category headings which are sooo original. Ha.

The good:
  • Spent today, like so many others, with Jack
  • Finally took his pocket watch in to be fixed
  • Ate pesto
  • Arranged to meet Fi before hair appointment tomorrow
The bad:
  • I haven't read my book much today
  • I didn't win Key Quest (it kept crashing) without Jack.
The ugly:
  • Your face hahahah.
  • That, and today's photo.

Sorry, got bored there.

Day 273

Spent the begining of today with Jack, then went home and lay in the garden reading Harry Potter and listening to music and sunbathing.  Good times.

Monday, 22 June 2009

Day 272

I feel really, really ill.

I woke up at various points throughout the night and had to move around or read my book until I fell asleep again.  When my dad started moving around I just went downstairs because I wanted a hug so much.
On the good side, after a cup of tea the glands on my left are now only the size of a deflated squash ball, which has made me a little more symetrical than before.

Photo taken at 5am when I couldn't sleep.  I think it's crap but there we go.  It's better than the others I took.

Methinks I'll be missing singing today, somehow.


Sunday, 21 June 2009

Day 271

I feel utterly shite body-wise, but mentally I'm nearly great.  I'm not because I'm not sure if Jack's alright - father's day and all - but I am because Willis is mine for the summer!  Kim and Debbie have promised to take me on some really cool long rides.  Maybe we should take a picnic on one - that'd be wicked cool.

Now, please allow me to introduce my new and rather beautiful beast:
Show name:
Willy Wonka.

Saturday, 20 June 2009

Day 270

Today was a truly genius day with Jack.  I went swimming in the morning (standard 30l) so was late round his, then we arsed around a bit in the hole between his bed and wall, then went to mine.  Before dinner, we played neopets and it was seriously funny.  We get too competitive, considering it's a game dominated by 10 year olds.  At one point we totally owned this person who was trying to be bitchy by stopping them finishing, then taking their finish.  Geenius.
Then we had dinner, went to get stuff from mum's for father's day because Pod and I forgot about it, made me a honey and lemon (it was kinda gross and didn't help my poor lil throat that much) then played neopets again, until it was time to, well, sleep.  i set an alarm for when to send him home, and after that went off we stood by the door for ages, talking.
A very good day.

Day 269

So I spent a lot of today wondering: what is it people see as they see me walking down the street?

Thursday, 18 June 2009

Day 268

I am so so tired.

I shouldn't really have internet but I'm using a wire so all is fine.

I got a free ride on Willis and he was lovely.  But neighing to Queenie ALL THE WAY THROUGH.
By gum that was irritating by the end.
There were a bunch of little kids charging around at first, and he hardly bat an eyelid.  I was impressed.

My dad spoke to Ray about prices today, and will speak to my mum because it apparently is vair expensive.  I'm nervous to ask the price.

We'll see, ey.
We'll have to wait and see.

Day 267

I went to the weirdest opera ever today.

Wasn't well on the way there, but whatever.

It was weird.

I like these plasters.
Tey make me lol.
One is a love heart with "mom"  in it and the other's an anchor.

Tuesday, 16 June 2009

Day 266 (revisited)

Someone asked me to tell them more about Jack and me.  I don't really know what there is to say...

Well, we started going out properly on the 15th of April, but were practically going out since the 12th, when he met my dad, grandparents, and mum all in one day.  After that day we spent all of our time together, basically.  Except Sunday morning, because I was riding.  Even though he is lovely, horses still win.  However, he would give them a good run for their money - so to speak - if he so wished.  Which I hope he wouldn't or he's a liar =P.

Maybe I should talk about the Oli/Jack cross over?
It seems like it's close.  But not really.  I found letters about a month ago which I wrote to Oli but never gave to him, telling him that there was a problem, and naming half the reasons we broke up.  I gave them to Oli afterwards, and when he read them he texted me telling me how he still loves me.  Eff off, I must say, but that's irrelevant.  I wrote a date on those letters.  The first was the 13th December.
I also remember showing Oli a text that I wrote about what I thought.  I can't remember what it said but it was basically that I didn't know that we should still be together.  He took that seriously at the time, and only at the time.  i remember Jack later saying that he didn't understand how Oli could not react to what was in the text; I'd shown it to Jack before because I'd needed to talk to him about it.
Before I showed him that text, I was falling out of love with him.  The only thing that was keeping me with him was that I wanted familiarity; to know someone was there...even though I didn't talk to him about much by that point.  Jack knew more about what was going on: about what I was thinking about Alice (yano, the ex-bestie) and any problems with Kati (though i can't remember if there were any at the time or not..=/)
Jack had been my best friend since the begining of Febuary.  It wasn't immediate, mind you, but since the first of Febuary we spoke to each other every day for ages.  When I was trying to break up with Oli I only went so that I could speak to Jack, in fact.  I got so bored of it.  Oli was saying, when I told him that I liked Jack (I did do that; he didn't take it seriously, started slagging off everything about him.  It didn't work because it just made me think of how much I love about him: his voice; the way he looks; his hair...hehehe.  Little did young master Roberts realise..) that we just needed to, uh, do stuff, and everything would become better.  I said no.  And I think that's the only time.
When I still technically had a boyfriend was Millie's party, which I spent a lot of time lying on Jack in, and talking to him, and wanting him and everyone else to just evaporate, leaving us together.
God, this isn't making much chronological sense is it?

I think - and anyone who reads this and knows do correct me if I'm wrong - that Millie's party was on Tuesday; I tried to break up with Oli on Wednesday; and Oli and I finally broke up on the Friday.
I gave up on Oli because he wore me out so much on Wednesday.  He made me angry and sad and just made me want to be with Jack.  So I left and went to speak to Jack, really really winding myself up as I spoke to him and Kati (who as I remember were both being lovely and I love you both for that), so that I would pace around my room, my eyes full of tears of burning hatred; wasted time and burnt out seemingly blind love.
The Tuesday was brilliant; I, as I said, just wanted Jack for most of it.
The Friday I remember.  I think I saw Jack.  Did I?  He still lived in Worthing then so it's possible that I didn't..  What I remember is sitting at my kitchen table and talking to Jack and Kati and thinking "enough is enough".  I left my house and went to Oliver's.  He had not spoken to me all of the Thursday or Friday, having begged for me to stay with him on the Wednesday.  So I was a bit annoyed with him.
I don't remember the walk to his at all.
I remember he said "I think I have some stuff left at your's." Which hurt.  It's a really blunt, horrible thing to say.  I remember him then wittering on.  I remember my eyes lighting up at mention of Timatron.  I remember leaving his and going to my dad's, spilling ten tears then leaving again.  That was it.
I remember that night, wanting so desperately to hurt something, myself, and cry desperately, just so that I would stop feeling so numb, so nothing.  i remember Jack wanting to be there for me.

Before Oli and I broke up, a deciding factor came along: Jack telling me how he felt.
That was on the Wednesday I think.  I think I went to see Oliver afterwards and when I was thinking of something else and kissing Oliver I decided that was it.  I know I thought of something else.  And screw it, I'll say it here: Jack.  I was thinking of what it would be like to be kissing Jack instead of my ex.
Throughout most of my life, people haven't really said "I want you to be happy."  That day (this is why I think that Jack told me on the Wednesday), two people said that they wanted me to be happy.  And one of them meant it.  Oliver said something along the lines of "I want you to be happy if that's with me and no one else."  Jack said "I want you to be happy and if that means me hurting then fine."  Or similar, at least.  That was one of the things which made me feel stronger.  That was one of the things that helped me break free of my cage of my ex.  His caring for me.  Really caring.
God, I still love you for that, I gotta say.

Anyway, it's late and I have an exam in the morning, so I'm going.
Let me know if there's more you want to know, Jacinth.
Or anyone else for that matter.

Day 266

It's nearly 9am and I'm kinda annoyed.  I say kinda but mean really.  My mum said that she didn't want me to go to Jack's before going to Waitrose, so I was pissed off by that..but, yano, it's kinda understandable.  Then she goes "Make me some tea and bring it upstairs, please" (not those words but you catch my drift.  when I asked her why she doesn't just go downstairs she said she didn't feel like getting up.  I felt like shouting "and I don't feel like going to Waitrose with you instead of seeing Jack!"
She changed her mind and said she'd come downstairs then.  But I don't see her.  Anywhere.  That was at least half an hour ago.  Half an hour I could've been eating cornflakes and watching Sponge Bob Square Pants in.  So now I'm going to read Harry Potter and listen to Daft Punk and hope it changes my mood.


Monday, 15 June 2009

Day 265

I am in a very good mood, having just watched Queer As Folk with my mum until we ran out of episodes.  It was really fun, actually.

The day I spent with Jack, leaving him only for a singing lesson which was at 1:30 and wore me out totally, because I sang 2 songs - a lot - both of which need a lot of breath and diaphragm (however it's spelt) control which make them hard.  The pleantiful singing of them meant that I ended up walking home really rather slowly.  Little Boots picked me up though =)

I then went to Jack's and ate pizza with sweetcorn on and fell asleep.
It was good sweetcorn.

Picture taken on my phone off Skype.  Rocking or what.

Sunday, 14 June 2009

Day 264

I rode Willis again this morning, which was brilliant.  He's seriously awesome.  My mum spoke to my dad on the topic of, well, him (Willis I mean) then I sent the number of Hamsey to Dad.  Soo... this will end with a big dot dot dot.

Spent afternoon with Jack and saw Night at the Museum 2, which was rather amusing.  I really wanted him after dinner, when watching Skins..<3

Saturday, 13 June 2009

Day 263

I spent last night and (until 6) of today with Jack.  It was good; really good.  I love spending time with him.  A lot.  I just don't like that he wasn't entirely happy for all of the time.

I would write more but I feel tired and headachey and sicky.

However, this is the first 365 in ages that I actaully like.

Thursday, 11 June 2009

Day 262

I feel good.

I love Little Boots.

I feel relaxed.

I'm looking forwards to the day.

And it's only 7:21.

Day 261

Well I just got upstairs from dinner, after my dad talking about Wills.  At first it was all fine and dandy but then I made the mistake of mentioning the phrase "chronic arthiritus".  I know that it's a risk and he doesn't know what it actually means.  I know it sounds bad because of the word "chronic", but it's a risk I really am willing to take.  Chronic means that it is a condition which will develop over time, but at a minimum Willis has two years in him.  Bear minimum.  Because he is showing no signs at all of lameness, he is more likely to last longer.

And my dad didn't even listen.

Also thinking how crap most of my 365s are.
I find myself so uninspiring..

Day 260

I've got a Gromit.
My dad said today that I spend too much time with Jack and he's "not as thick as he looks".  He did that in the early days of Oli, too.  I still don't know what it means.

Day 259

Amazingly enough i spent today with Jack. In the afternoon I went to the stables and rode Willis.  I love love love him so so so much.  He jumps so well and he's .. he's just great.

Monday, 8 June 2009

Day 258

This morning was kinda confusing.  My dad walked into my room at 8 and said "you have a revision session. Want a lift?"  So I were liek "wart? =/" but rang Jack to tell him not to come over, then toddled off to French.  There were only 4 of us there, and at first I thought that I'd have to stay til 1:30 for my singing lesson, but fortunately enough Gemma cancelled.  Doing the exam will be fun at this rate...

So I went home and saw Jack and spoke to Kati and she loved Jack's voice and ... didn't drink milk or eat chocolate.  Crazy days, and a very good one at that.

Sunday, 7 June 2009

Day 257

Even though I look like I'm dying here, I'm actually laughing.

Today I rode Willis and am in love with him.  Going to ask my mum about him.  Give him a month or something during which I'll restrain myself hugely, and NOT bug her consistantly.  Just every other day.  If he still is holding up with no signs of going lame or anything, then.... I'll Buy Himmm!!!

After riding I saw Jack and we randomly went to see Terminator, which was kinda bad except for when this guy hit someone in the face with the butt of a gun and the screen went back (v. dramatic liek) and Jack went "aw naugh!"
Vair amusant I must say.

Then had seafood paella (nom) and read a bit of Harry Potter.  It's now time to talk to Kati and sort out some of Jack's suprise.

Happyhappy :)

Saturday, 6 June 2009

Day 256

I did something different today!!
I met Kati at 11 and we spent the day being oddly practical and buying things.  I got cool pants which were on a 3-for-1 (one pair of which was weird =/); 2 new tops (well a top and a dress thing which i may or may not chop in half); a bikini (which I'm glad I didn't get Jack to buy cos it was a silly price); and something else and lots of photos of cards cos I'm a cheapskate.
Good times braw.
After Jack came round for dinner because he was talking about how bored he was =P.  I get a new phone on Monday! Well I get my new phone activated on Monday. w00t!

Day 255

I'm almost crying cause the light's in my eyes here.
Today I spent with Jack again.  We had the best lunch ever: apple pie, custard, and toffee sauce.  All while watching Hercules.  Genius.  I then went riding, on Willis, which was genius - he's really good.  It was a good day.  I love study leave.

Day 254

My 365s are stupidly repetative.

Today I spent with Jack - obviously, as I don't really spend time with anyone else much.  He was being really, really sweet when we were watching movies =)

Wednesday, 3 June 2009

Day 253

I managed to sleep through most of my French listening exam and still answer the questions.  Feeling confident about that one - I like French. Tis my fortée.

Now listening to Stereophonics and waiting for my bath to run and my ice cream and strawberries to arrive. Genius.

Stereophonics = new listenlove

Tuesday, 2 June 2009

Day 252

I had English and Ethics today.  As expected, English was alright.  The ethics part of ethics was easy, but the philosophy part was truly terrible.  I was asked on everything I didn't know.  I ended up going off on one Bill Bailey style about how God waited stupid amounts of time to make the Earth once he'd made the universe.  He should've just gotten it over with, the silly bugger.  Well if he exists.  Etc etc etc.

(lol "men don't like it when other men sleep with their mothers, that's why my brother killed my father." - How Freudian is that!)

Day 251

A quick update of all things exam-like.
Today I had maths, which was kinda crap because it was all the stuff I'm not as good at, and I've pretty much always been worse at calculator papers...oh well, no more maths!
Tomorrow I have English and Ethics, which should be alright...English, at least.

Monday, 1 June 2009

Day 250

Do You See What I See?

How exciting is this - 250!

I rode Bill this morning and he was alright.  I spent a lot of time looking at Willis - Brady was on him.  I was weirdly distant and stuff today.  Brady noticed and was quite sweet.  He gave me a camera!! It's really cool.  FOUR lenses to play with.  Crazay.

Spent the rest of the day revising maths with Jack.  It was brill.  As most time with him is.