[not my best look]
I'm tired and feel ill.
I'm sorting everything out, though: I've cleaned the kitchen and bathroom and am tidying my room at the moment (well, I was, but I got bored and started blogging) so I'm sorting everything out. I just need to focus: I keep trying to do everything and end up doing badly at it all.
I'm now going to:
- Focus on work
- Focus on the horse
- Not go out that much
- Try not to do ridiculous things that piss other people off.
I just spoke to Becca though and apologised for being a knob and said that I'd done what I can to make it better. So now I'm pretty sure that she's fine with me. All I have to do is convince her and my other friends that I don't want to go out tonight. I think I'd rather have a night in with the boy.. Last night we did that - a romantic night watching the IT Crowd (then a programme which was about Buck the horse whisperer type lad, which was awesomee) and eating KFC. A warm welcome to the impending scurvy.
The boy..... I think it's going to get pretty serious. I think I love him. Won't tell him yet, but you know the phrase "once you know, you know"? ... I think I know. This is the first time I've made that vaguely public. I'm scared. That's a really serious thing to say and I don't want to curse it or find out I'm wrong or something... But I do feel like there's something special there. Like we have some mileage. To the point where... No, I'm going to stop talking. Too much, too soon, perhaps. Though the thing is that this doesn't feel much like a honeymoon period, it feels much more like ... genuine, proper feelings. He makes me go all tingly when he kisses me, he makes me feel so safe... He's amazing. And he loves me. And takes care of me, helps me, is wonderful to me. It's terrifying but I really think there's something lasting going on here. Well, I'm certain that I will keep you posted whether you like it or not...! - now to call it enough and go do some revision. I hate scientific subjects.