Monday, 10 December 2012

In this city.

I know a guy who I thought was one of the most genuine, wholesome people in my life.  He's engaged to a girl he rarely sees, who studies in Switzerland.  He doesn't see why people would sleep around and cheat and be disrespectful to their partners in that way and I honestly respected that so much.  I would never be able to survive a long distance relationship like that and I was impressed that he could, with such love in his words, with such dedication to his partner who he honestly was in love with.

And then I find out that he's fucked one of my mates.

Not just once, no.  Twice a day.  Routinely.
And he initiated it.

Now all of that, everything that he told me, seems completely redundant.  It's one thing cheating on someone; it's another having a full on affair.  I had such faith in you.  I believed you.  I believed that you respected, loved and cherished a woman for everything that she gives you and makes you feel.. But seriously.  You should make a decision and talk to the poor woman.

You're going to go and visit her soon, in 5 days I believe.  What's going to happen then?  Will you repeat to her that you love her; or will you tell her?  Will you break up with her, will you tell her honestly?  You're the kind of person who would feel like shit if you didn't tell her; if you stayed together.  But does that mean that it's something you'll live with, or are you actually edging towards being a man?

Goddamn.  I know who it's with and how you feel about her but honestly... "I would like her, if not for my fiancé." That's what you said to me.  And now it all feels like shit.
I never expected myself to care this much.
I guess I never realised how much I thought of you, how much I respected you for doing what I know I wouldn't be able to.  I was impressed that you thought that highly of a single person, that you could bring yourself to admit that you knew who you want to spend the rest of your life with.  I was impressed that you would see people in a different way, that you could be called gay by your female friends because you had no threat of a male predator nature to come with you.

Goddamn.  What happened?  Did you just give up, or was it something bigger, something more?

At least I know why you weren't texting me for the past while.

Peace out; Stay out.

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