Monday, 22 September 2008

Negative until zero days.

A background maybe?
I'm Caitlin Hodges and I'm fifteen. I have some friends, but none I can really stick, not at school. There are nice people around but they seem to be in short supply, especially with girls. There are so many bitches around, I honestly can't believe it. And of course, all nice people at school have their bitchy little cling-ons, which is not wonderful. So basically, I don't feel like I can win.
It used to be ok because there was Oli. I mean, there still is Oli; we haven't broken up or anything. It's just that now he's at BHASVIC, I have no protection from the bitchiness. It's ridiculous, but it's so horrible. But also there are loads of people who, in their spare time, ruin other people's lives. But to make it worse - missing Oli, that is - I have to spend a lot of time watching couples "not be all over each other" and walking to school with them so that they make me late.
I don't feel like it's going well; I want things to change, however it can. I want to find decent people and learn that there are actually more than thirty nice people in England. (That's a guestimation, of course). I just need to step back from the people who seem to be getting so heavy, and don't really know how to.
So over the next year, I'm hoping to. I want to look back at this blog on the 22nd of September 2009 and think "I was being stupid. I always knew everything was happening for a reason." (Which is actually something I think. If something goes wrong, or even I just make a decision, I feel that it can't go wrong because it's all gonna come out at the end. I don't think that everything's set in stone, but there are all these paths and choices we come to, and that decides where we go on the way to our ultimate ending. There are three or so endings, yknow, like those quizes in teen magazines that are "What Type of Girl are YOU??" ... you end in various ways, but it always ends. Make sense?)

Anyway, i need to go to bed.
So, see you tomorrow, on day one.


1 comment:

KatSTAR said...

You went offline before I could tell you so doesn't sound stupideo. I think this time next year when we finish these projects we should have a weekendy celebration. With brooms, Thrillerrrrr and some sort of checkered material. Love you lots kitten xo.