Monday, 1 April 2013

Day 54.

Taken: 28/03/2013
My horse enjoying the view from Tal-Y-Fan

Seeing as I'm completely failing at doing this daily (I don't really know why, I'm not actually doing anything, just seem to be doing other things all the time...), I'm going to just keep counting the days but have massive gaps in between them.

I haven't been myself for the past couple of days. I think since Deri's parents came back... They bought Deri, Joe (his brother) and me presents of Toblerone and cider back from France. I've never in my life felt so welcomed into a family. It makes me so happy, makes me glow that they like me enough to think of getting me a present while on their holidays. However, it also makes me so, so homesick. I've not been home for a long time and not seen my family since mid February, and goddamn it I want to. I tried to convince Deri to leave earlier but he doesn't quite understand how much I want to go home; he wants to finish his essay first, so he can give the books he's using to his friend, but that means that I still have to be here until Friday, and get home on Saturday. That's only a day early. He says he knows what I mean when I say that I want to go home but I'm not sure he gets quite how homesick I am. It wouldn't be as bad if I wasn't in such a lovely, welcoming and warm family, homey environment. But as it stands, I want to be in my lovely homey environment. I want to see my Dad, lie on the sofa chatting shit while watching CSI. There's nothing like going home after being away for a long time, and I desperately want to be able to do that now.

I love it here, don't get me wrong. The mountains I'm staring at as I write this are unutterably breathtaking, and the opportunities I'm getting from having my horse here are amazing. The family are the nicest in the world... But there ain't no place like home, and the level of missing it that I'm experiencing is putting a strain on me, which is making me get tetchier with Deri. I don't want to do that, he doesn't need to have this taken out on him. I guess it's something that he just doesn't understand, no matter what he says.

God bless him; but I hope I get home soon. I hope I get rid of this feeling, because it's going to take a toll and I'm not sure what on yet.


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