Dai told me that he had liked me for a year a few days ago.
Kept wanting to kiss me last night.
On the same night, I was seeing a friend who I hadn't seen for a long time.
He is not quite the person I expected: Becca deleted a text from him and wrote it down but won't tell me what it says. Just flirting, I think, she was just thinking of my mental health and didn't let me read it becuase it would've been terrible.
I told Dai that i need space to get my head straight and she deleted all of the replies before giving my phone back to me, which was definitely a good idea. I don't know what i would've done without her several times, especialyl last night.
It was intense, to say the least.
I have a soft spot for Dai as we all know, but it's only a soft spot and the only allure he really has for me is that i like the idea of being the one that the manwhore didn't cheat on. However, there's no guarantee that he wouldn't cheat and that's not really worth my effort: the only way I would be able to not go crazy is by not caring about him and if I didn't care about him then there's no point in going there. Therefore, no. That's what I need to say and stand by and I'm not sure when to say it or how to do so but I'll talk to Becca about that and probably do it over text this time because I don't know if i could face him. But we shall see, it's not like I'll stop seeing him altogether.
Anyway I basically just need to stick to what I know and not be tempted because he's charming.
And the friend in question, Gavin, is irrelevant: he's offered me a free roast dinner several times and we were talking for a lot of summer, but that will now stop. Becca said he was indeed flirting, when I asked, so that's fine. I'll just stop talking to him I guess; we aren't close and I never replied to whatever message he sent so it's all good.
I just need to remember to think things through and stand my ground, particularly when it comes to Dai.
Let's just ignore the breakup bit, that's a separate difficult that I don't feel like writing about.