Day 42.

26/02/2013

Jesus christ I look like a devil.

Today. I found out that Radar had been cheated on by his woman; that one of my friends is entirely untrustworthy (I knew it anyway but it was shown more); and I realised how much I don't want to be in Aberystwyth - how much I need a break.

I'm exhausted of putting effort into friendships only to get nothing back. There's no point in me spending so much time working for other people's happiness when all I have to do is spend a bit of time with them and a lot of time with Deri and Nomad to be happy. They don't seem bothered whether I'm there or not, so what's the point in actively being there? All they want to do is go out and drink which is something I physically can't afford to do.  They don't understand that. When I say I'm broke, they assume I mean what they say: I have my parents on tap and actually no problem but it's fashionable to have no money.

But no, I can physically afford 2 more months (excluding food) then I have a serious problem. I need to find somewhere to move Nomad to as soon as I can, and find a job badly. This will be easier once I've moved him, when I can apply for jobs like cleaning hotels, but I haven't got the time at the moment because I have to be at the yard for 9 then have lectures. It's a tricky situation. That said, I bet that Deri would help me.... That's a point. He made me promise to tell him if things got too tight, money wise. God bless him. I am one lucky girl. I hope to God I don't have to do that.

At least I spent the night with my man. That made most of the bad stuff melt away completely.

Cait.X