19/01/13
Freshhh.
The thing with people is that it doesn't matter how long you know them, sometimes. It just matters that you saw them on the street that one time; it matters that you held their hand on the trampoline; it matters that they were near you when you needed someone or something and just didn't know what.
Scroobius Pip says this better than me during the banter on 'Words', before 'Try Dying', but I think I'm getting my point across.
I think that because of that, because you don't know what would've happened if you hadn't known whatever people you previously have, you can't fully and completely regret anything, really... As long as you like where you are now, or the direction that you're headed in.
Maybe you fucked up. But what's to say that you would be the person you are today if you hadn't? I honestly, truly and with all my heart believe that everything happens for a reason. Even if it does sometimes take us a while to see what the reason is or could be.
I'm aware that the boy is important to me not least because he makes me want to write again. He makes me want to see the world and have some fun and go kinda crazy, just in a safe (and cheap) way. I like him for that.
Also I watched The Bucket List with him (well sort of, we were talking through most of it. about every thing. Everything I'd been thinking (though I didn't tell him), and a whole lot more besides...) last night which got me thinking about how if you feel something, surely you should just say it. But when I spoke to B: about it, she was exactly right (my voice of reason so she is): you don't want to jump in with both feet to find out that it'll just backfire. "Head first, fearless" only works to a point. All that can be done is to wait and see and find out what happens.
Also, this is awesome.
(It's what I listened to instead of revising in the library today, after doing a lovely wee flying show from my horse to my back. Quite an abrupt movement, but hey, I'm sure it's fine!)
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