Day 310 : Newsless

Today I felt really smug because I had a cookie in the bath.

I jumped James and absolutely loved it. He's amazing, truly. One bad thing about having a horse: no James.

On the good side:

BUZZBUZZBUZZBUZZBUZZ

and suffolk and jack and alice and LOVEOFLOVEOFLIFE

Smile at everyone you see tomorrow; it could just make their day. <3

Day 310 : News

As you know, I e-mailed seona last night about horses.

She said she had one for sale.

It's Buzz!!

I MIGHT BE BUYING BUZZZZZZZ!!!

I go see him on the 12th of August. I am so excited.

If it was anyone but Buzz I'd be kinda "meh", having loved Willis so much...but...because it's Buzz and I loved him a LOT...eeeee!

Shutting up.

Lovelovelvoe.

Day 309

The glasses Loona wears!

...Me!

                                                                 ^Oasis (Y)

Today was pretty genius.

I spent the morning with Jack and didn't feel that great, shall we say, but he cheered me up by doing Swedish accents and Finnish songs.  It was good times xD

I then met Fi and we hung around a bit.  I found a lumberjack shirt I like!! and bought a 98p white strap top in primark because it was 98p.  It's too big, but that's irrelevant.  We then didn't know what to do after that so wondered around, and I saw Victor who I gave respect to as we passed on escalators (how cool is that ;P), with Jack Valeri.  Fi and I then ate outside Debenhams and went to the lanes and wandered around.  We then went back to Borders and looked at children's books and picture books - there was an amazing one of Beauty and the Beast (I now want to watch the Disney version).  Fi's truley obsessed with Draco Malfoy.  And Ron.  And general Harry Potter...it's ridicularse.  We went to HMV and saw Mr Gordon playing games with his son, then left Churchill Sq and saw Laura and Jess which was amusing - they're cool.  THEN just as I left I ran into Mike and the famous Hugh, who I think I scared slightly.  Or something.  Strange.  They are weirdly tall. Weird.

I'm now e-mailing Seona for advise on horses.  Because the one sired by Unbelievable Darco is slightly unrealistic.

Day 308

Weird ass day.

Spent it with Jack mainly, playing Wii for parts.

Then broke up with Kati (we were growing apart for ages.  We're not going to stop talking, just stop being as close - or trying to be.) and that feels really weird.

After that and Kati leaving I felt down and not many people were helping.

(not many = none)

So there we go really.

Wasn't that lovely?

Day 307

It rained all morning so I rode out on Sophie on possibly the fastest five mile ride ever - we did it in less than 45 minutes because neither of us were much enjoying the rain.

I didn't turn the horses out onto the common because I thought that I'd long rein Lily, because it's amusing, but it was pointless because I couldn't be arsed.  I just sat in the kitchen pining for a cup of tea for about ten minutes and a slice of toast, then turned them out.  My chapps were wet.

We left at 11:10 and arrived at 14:something.  We had lunch v sharpish after that - bacon tortillas (with various sauces.  Tomato pesto and mayo was my favourite combination) - then I went to Jack's and spoke to his mum for ages, until (i thought) Jack and I would be late for dinner.  Becky, Dave's daughter, was there, and making a k-nex guitar with Pod.

Shit happened then I went to bed and didn't sleep for long enough - by way of a change.

Day 306

I FORGOT MY HAT HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

It's funny because i then walked back for two miles with a horse and got REALLY WEIRD LOOKS

And Kati said "I just went running but i didn't forget my feet" which i found very, very funny.

Day 305

Tabards: Essential Wear.

Today was seriously tiring.

I rode Sophie at 10 for 2 hours, had lunch then long-reined Lily which was well fun.  She's a little cow, but it was still an amusing experience.  And Dad came, which made it a whole lot more interesting.  We spoke about his knees because I'd seen him running earlier and his left one goes sideways on landing (it's really disconcerting).

After that I rode Needy, but didn't go far at all because I found it painful to trot.. I should've eaten before going out, I think you'll find, because i felt like I was digesting a lung.

Day 304

A strange day of sorts.

I spent part of it like this:

...a cause of the news about Willis.

The rest I spent more like this:
Which is actually an accidental photo because the self timer wasn't on, but i like it.  I rode Sophie out to Dam Lane which was great.  She's such a great horse.

News.

Willis off work for two months.

Now have much less to do and will not be buying him.

At least it's made my mind up for me.

;;

Day 303

This being the day before I go to Suffolk, I had to say "bye" to Jack.  I did not like that.

Pod and I built a K-Nex ferris wheel today which was genius, and I had a really good long ride with Kim in the morning.

Day 302

Today was Go Ape!

Aah it was genius.

Then I had a 5:30 lesson and Willis wasn't jumping properly and I hated jumping in front of Sue.

Quite a lot.

Grrg.

Day 301

Having slept pretty well and woken up feeling good though tired, I absolutely loved having Jack with me.

We went to see Harry Potter and on the way I was stupidly grumpy for no reason, which was annoying.  Harry Potter would've been truly crap if not for Jack taking the piss in a vair vair amusing way.

 "Why didn't they just magic the windows fixed?"

 "Because only Dumbledore had the manual."

Tee.

Then went riding.  Willis had lost a shoe so I gave him a bit of a workout in the school which was really good.

I then went online and spoke to people in merriment and whatnot.

It was good.

Like my shades?

Day 300

Oh em gee, Monday.

That is weird.

It is Monday and it is day 300.

This is seriously the only way I'm keeping track of days..this, and my watch.

I feel like I should do something momentous.

But have no idea what.

Any ideas?

...Nothing, you say?

Aah, alright then.

Today I saw Jack because I'd missed him.  We basically did nothing but go food shopping at least twice, and just had a laff really.  It was great.  He stayed over.  =)

Day 298 and 299

Day 298

On day 297, we went to Newmarket only for the races (suprised?) which was really rather good.  I won £9.20! (but ended up with -80p.  But that's entirely irrelevant.)

We went to Newmarket with my mum and her dave, Dave's friend Dave2, his wife Barbara, and their two sons James and Thomas.  They were never Jamie and Tom, or anything, and Barbara was Very in control of their lives.

I slept at their house, in Thomas' room.  It was a genius room.  It was really stylish and modish. Lovelovelove I say.

And a genius taste in DVDs.

The morning after the night before, we went to Roxy's after I had the piss taken out of me for eating three weatabix (it was an accident, I didn't understand the packet =/), and complimenting Thomas on his style and DVDs.  There, Dave left us and we spent ages with Rox Mark and the boys in a park and playing in the water which was very cute.  I stayed up late talking to Roxy then Roxy and Mark, which I loved.  I really enjoy spending time with them, so have now planned to take Jack to see them on the 2nd of August.  And I get some babysitting on the 4th, which will be good.  And easy.  and an earner.  Thus yay.

Day 289
LOVEBOX

So many mood swings so little time.

Srsly, all the time.  Excited; grumpy; happy; angry; contended; wanting to punch someone in the face; really really buzzing.  Then grumpy.  Then I fell asleep.

Like my hats?

Day 297

We should be going to newmarket

I rode early so that we could leave

And

As I expected

I am stillhere

Wanting Jack

And trying not to be annoyed.

Day 296

I spent a really, really good day with Jack today then went riding.  I jumped Willis! He was really good until we tried the tyres double.  I really need to work at it either on my own or with just Charlotte on Bobby or something; to give him confidence.  Everything was very exciting, and I wasn't riding very well.

Charlotte lent me the Eddie Izzard boxset!!

That'll make for some serious fun times.

I've decided to watch all of them twice

I don't want to forget them after all.

Day 295

5 days off 300...oh my.

i can't fully believe that it's been so long since i began this, yano.

Managed to get Willis cut on barbed wire fence today - not best move - made me panic and feel v guilty.

Fortunately the cut is only superficial, so nothing needs to be done.

Bonne annivairsaire de ma mere

Day 294

Taken in Columbo's stable for no particular reason.

NEWS!!!

Another of my photos was selected to be short listed by schmap magazine!

I've no idea why because it's a kinda ordinary photo, but whatever. Good times.

Below = really crap photo of my final piece so that Kati would see it.

Day 293

Happy Monday.

i spent today with Fi, which was good fun.  I do like her muchly.  We watched Nightmare Before Christmas (I managed to fall asleep); read 2 chapters of Harry Potter 5 aloud (we're rocking); ate spag bol but with rice; watched The Chamber Of Secrets; then just nattered until my mother and Dave came and picked me up.

They got kebabs on the way home and I stole their chips.

I'm putting on weight, goddamn it.

Day 292

Uncreative.

Unimaginative.

It's how I feel.

I had a good day, three hours of which was spent cleaning Willis's tack.

Since said three hours, I've felt crap.

Now if you'll get pissed off with me about talking about Willis, stop reading.

My dad asked what the point was in buying Willis.  He asked whether we should be buying an ex-racehorse or adding a zero to his price and getting something which will definately get me somewhere.

He asked if Willis is the right horse.

And I'm pretty sure he's not.

The thing is, I have grown really attatched to Willis.  He's opened up a brand new world of places and people and exploration; of long slow canters then bloting up Harry's Field.  Having the option of doing an extra two canters, like I did today.  He's given me someone to dote upon who won't take the piss, and a place to go when I don't feel happy.  What have I done the last couple of times?  Raced myself up Blackcap, and watch the people pass.  (In my mind.)

This whole place of freedom and fun could so easily...go.  I've become the happy hacker, enjoying all of the time I spend on the downs with /my/ horse and choosing whether or not to do the piss boring hour and two hour rides, or to go somewhere else.  I love the freedom of choice and, simply, I love Willis.  He's affectionate, and Kim once said that he's more protective from Max (who spends a lot of time lunging at him) when I'm around.  That, to me, says something good.  I couldn't stand to watch that Natalie girl ride him because I know she wouldn't feel guilty about ripping shit away from me.

I just don't think it's right.

But I can't stand to not have him.

Unless I got something better, immediately.

I know there are better horses out there and I know that I can find them, but I don't want to.  I really, really love Willis.

But I know what I have to do.

I just desperately need a horse to replace him.

A jumper.

One who can take me places.

And one who's black.

And bigger.

Now, if you'll get pissed off with me being a bit pathetic, and talking about Jack, stop reading.

I was worried earlier that you didn't care.  I thought that you thought my reasons for feeling crap were, well, crap.  But understand how much this means to me.  And I'm pretty sure you don't, but I knew since I looked into your eyes before you left that you really are genuinely concerned.

I just want to thank you for showing your emotions because I don't know that you realise how insecure I would feel if you didn't.

And, my One, I just want to tell you that I love you.

Because my God, I do.

I say "my One" for a reason.

Day 291

I went on a really long and really mega ride today.  Well, it should've been really long but it was only a bit over two hours.  It was kinda fast - the canters - so I'm slightly nervous about Willis' leg.

Afterwards, I had some lunch then went to see Jack which was genius, we had some very, very amusing conversations x)

Day 290

As I write this I am seriously happy.

Because.

I was commented on one of my photos on Flickr by a woman called Jenny K Markbell, who said she wanted to publish one of my photos in Sussex Life magazine.

I have no idea what that magazine is but still - this is the first time any photos of mine have been recognised - I'm so so so pleased!

Here is said photo:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/35443286@N02/3672127837/

anywho...

stayed up far too late updating my diary and reliving my Easter holidays.  Probably the most eventful ones I've had.

Felt all passionate this morning, when I woke up too early, but that quickly died away.

Lalalalalala.

Anything else?

Not at the moment.

I'm talking to my dad - so byeee.

I just got back from my singing.

It was horrible.

I didn't know part of the theory (improvisation.  Ironically enough my strongest point. Ha.) was happening, I got the minor scale wrong because I didn't practice it only descending, I got the arpeggio wrong.

And now Sam's here.

I do not want to see Sam. Not now. Sam is genius but I don't want to see him when feeling like this.  I have to go riding later too.  I don't want to do that if with anyone, and on that shite little ride that happens on Fridays.  Maybe I'll go early.

OK guys let's regroup.

It's positive thinking time.

I did really well recognising what things mean on scores, because of previous pianoing experience and those cool little cards Ambrose gave me.

Jude said I sang really well - and I did well on the last piece.  The high notes in WoB were kinda crap but the low ones were good.  Well I'll think that anyone.

I'm getting that opportunity with photography.

Then there's everything else.

There's no need for tears baby.

It's time to decide what photo to send of me.

Well hi again guys.

I went to see Jack after selecting what photo to send and sending it (I chose the one Kati took of me in the woods, which she says looks summery. =) See it here), which was good.  We just walked to the bus stop and talked a lot, which was just fun.  I ate a ripple.  I then got on the bus and realised that my iPod was flat which was annoying.  The bus was way full so getting off it was tedious, but soon enough I was on Big W and racing Kim.

Day 289

Today I went out on a really long ride which was brilliant.  Willis knows exactly where I let him stretch, bless him.

I then went round to my mum's and did theory work for my singing exam tomorrow.  I am so fucking nervous.  I don't get nervous.  I was so shit at harmonising it made  me cry; honestly.  Urgh.  Serious urgh.

I then spent time with Jack which was brilliant; especially after being so wound up after the theory.

he knows how to relax me.

Even if he does poke my stomch.

Day 288

I slept until half twelve despite the early night which slightly freaked me out.

Jack went really soon after waking up which freaked me out too, me being me.

I had lunch, cleaned the car, watched My Wife and Kids, and went riding.

It was great to see Charlotte again because she's totally awesome.  I'm gonna ride in the evening next Thursday to see her.

Day 287

It was a kinda crappy ride because it was only the basic hour, which I find totally boring, seeing as it's cantering around a field.  I then saw Jack, and had an early night.

Jack and I got caught in the rain so laughed and kissed and walked up the middle of the road and made me feel really rather happy, I must say.

Day 286

On the camera, this photo freaked me out a touch.

I've spent today singing quite a bit in preparation for my exam which is at 2pm on Friday.

How relaxing.

Not.

I started reading Enduring Love in preparation for my Eng Lit (if I get that book), and ordered the one I'll definately use.  I did a bit of writing, saw Jack for a while before lunch, ate Nesquick which I've not had for ages, and have now for ages been talking to Kati, playing on Farmtown (rockkk) and listening to Daft Punk.

It should be an hour later than it is.

It really should.

Day 285

I rode on the two hour ride as usual today which was cool, then Jack came round.  We went to town for no particular reason and walked around a bit, then went back to his and watched Wimbledon and his mother go crazy because of it.

It was a pretty good day [.=

Day 284

As is proabably apparent, I spent most of today with Jack while - especially he was - being weird.  Good times.

Rode out with Kim again and tried to ride through a forest but a tree had fallen across the path so we had to ride back.  That wasn't great because it was downhill and we had to duck under branches, which Willis took as a cue to go faster.  Trotting downhill flat to a horse's neck is not great.

We then took a random left turn and went up a track, across the gallops, through the best part of harry's field, across a random field, and back through the sheep field.

w00t.

Day 283

I'm so far behind on my blog that I can't remember what I did today.

I think I rode out with Kim...on the one hour, then we did harry's field so Willis got to charge up our favourite stretch.  Fun times yo.

Day 282

I had a really good day today all over again.  I went to Jack's in the morning and spent some time joking around and whatnot, until he fell asleep.  Then we went to mine where he fell asleep (well that's what i'm telling my mum ebcause i couldn't be arsed to move the new bed upstairs in order to hoover the hall)...and then I went riding. 

I went my favourite route so I ended up on the top of blackcap with an amazing view.  Everything I love about that ride was as I remembered.  It was GREAT.

Check it out - shadow photo with a horse.  Oh yeah.

Day 281

I spent the last parts of today on a bit of a buzz when I suddenly got this image of Kati in a band and described it to her.  She seemed to like it, and we got into our favourite kinda future-prediction type conversation.

It was great.

I rode Willis this morning and found out that I can't ride him out without insurance, so spent a lot of the evening finding out about it.  Apparently my dad doens't understand but i don't know what there is not to understand.

I also notice that Jack goes quieter when I mention my dad.  I hope that that's in my head.