Monday, 20 April 2009

Day 209


Feeling a bit crapsoes due to headache/hot flushes/sickyfeeling.
Didn't have a brilliant music, and now am just wondering whether to stop feeling sorry for myself and get on with the shit I need to do...as it is that or say "tomorrow, I'll do it tomorrow".  I know I won't.  Well the chances are I won't; even though Jack'll have to go early cos of busses - assuming he's round for a bit of course - thus will be basically incommunicado for an hour or whatever it is.  I have a lot of art to do, music to finish, and French and Spanish to learn...and shit.
And there's philosophy work to do.
Mission.

I just feel like I wanna run.  Get away from whatever it is that's keeping me down and break free of whatever mental barrier I'm putting up for myself.  It's a stupid thing to do because I wouldn't run even if it wasn't dark outside and I know that all I want to do is not be here with these people.
I don't give a damn about fishing. Why's it on the TV?

I just ranted to Jack about stuff I'm not going to put online, and he said "Everything does happen for a reason."
That's the way I think...I just completely forgot it.  Everything does happen for a reason.  If it wasn't for shit happening the way it has, nothing would be like now.  One of the more significant bad parts of Jack's life is the reason we are where we are today....it's a weird thought, but it's true.
Everything happens for a reason.

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