Day eleventymillion

Me and my English class. I'm at the back being strangled by Toby. Such a babe that kid, haha.

Yesterday was my last day of term, and I was just "Looking Back, Over My Shoulder".

I've had too many boyfriends and haven't considered their feelings all the time. Then again, there's been no reason to. Alec broke up with me essentially so that he could be emotionally traumatised; I can see no other reason. But I'm getting ahead of myself. When I left you, I was wearing Alec's gloves and wanted to say "I love you".

Eventually, he almost made me to say "ily", and I don't think that I would've otherwise. I wish I hadn't, because I developed a huge attachment to him; I enjoyed being with him greatly. But I don't know why. At the end of the day, I kinda wish I hadn't been with him. Then I would've known for sure if I shoudl've been with Jonny or not. But that's another story.

I've found people that I'm happy being friends with and have settled into Lewes at last. I'm getting on with people and, even though I've sold Buzz so I don't really know what to do with my summer, I'm sure I'll find something to do.

I'm hopeful for the future. I just want to get on with it now. Though I am /not/ complaining about this summer break coming up; a huge amount of time stretches ahead of me in which I can do what I want and live all I want. I can't wait.

So beauties, good luck, dream big, love who you deem worthy.

I'll catch you on the flip side.

(L)

Radar: Edits

I found a photo of when me and Radar were hugging in the park yesterday. It's a sleazy as photo because he was joking at the time and moving one of his hands a bit far down, but I decided to post some edits here because I'm actually kinda pleased with them. They're not brilliant because of the quality, and the fact that some of them are tiny snippets of the original photo, but still. I'm happy with them, in general.

From sleaze to intimacy in three easy steps.

The original image:

Some edits:

Interpret this last one as you will:

And that's your fill.

I'm wearing Alec's gloves :)

He broke them, the loser... they used to fold over at the wrists but don't any more. His hands are longer than mine which is making it kinda difficult to type, but hey. They smell of him. And earth. I wonder why....but then again, I'm not sure I want to know. He was probably drunk and being odd. Bless.

I don't actually have anything to say....so let's talk about yesterday!

I went home, got my stuff (cos no one cares about college - it was average and I had a free.), then got the bus to Lewes. I ended up going to the station and not bothering to ride, because i didn't have enough time. (And thursday I rode for ten minutes...how crap is that XD...then Wednesday I fell off....not my week riding-wise, rly!) Anyway I met Charli and her sehr amusing friend Jack at Lewes station and even though I ran we missed the train :( .. but that wasn't too bad because it's Charli, and as I said Jack is sehr amusing. So we got the train and I went to Charli's for a bit - her house and dogs are gorgey and her mum's lovely and her step dad's pretty coolsticks - before swinging like childish children (which was immense fun) and meeting Alec and Michael to walk to Ryan's together. When we were there we played I've Never. Apparently there's a fair bit that I've not done.....and I did find out quite a bit about people. Like...no I can't remember. But apparently Charli's proud of how well I coped in that situation because I didn't know any of them (except the people I did...but I didn't know Ryan, Dippers (lol), Nikki (who spent most of the evenine being sick upstairs), or whatsit. Or was that it? Oh whatever. There were some I didn't know and few that I'm actually close to (I'm close to Alec and Charli. Basically.)........aaand I still drank quite a bit about things that I've done. At one point which made Alec almost piss himself. But yeah.......

So yeah, we played I've Never then Zoe and I went for a pee in the park. Because Nikki was already puking in the bathroom and we were liek...maybe not. So me and Zoe toddled off having an odd conversation. She saw people she knew on the way there which was totally "lolwut", then we squatted side by side. I had definately never done that before XDD

Then we went back and Alec and I did some kisses then there's a bit that I can't remember.....but Ryan and Zoe almost got busy, and Michael and Charli disappeared off somewhere. Then Alec lay on me while on the sofa and we played dares and everyone basically refused to kiss everyone else. Then Carly (Alec's ex) arrived with some person and her boyf (who used to be Alec's besty. Bad person.), so we went at like 11. Not to sleep til 2 though. And slept through Transformers 2...

Then in the morning Alec got up at 6 for his paper round so gave me a kissy then I went back to sleep. He got back after...some time, I dunno, and we had a lil natter, then put Transformers 2 back on and fell asleep again. Charli rang at 10 to 10 so it's a fucken good thing she did or I would've missed my train xD

I got the aforementioned train to Lewes and had the most disgusting chicken and ham slice thing ever. Seriously - it was goop with flavouring. Euuurgh. I felt sick when driving 'cause of that. Then Daphne dropped me at the yard and I had this absolutely awesome ride on Buzz. Unfortunately he was a complete dick when we got back - it took about half an hour to get him into his box..no joke. Ridicularse.

Then I got the bus home and met Charli..or rather, coincidentally and rather luckily ran into Andy and George who were off to meet Alec, Michael, Lucy and Charli. I got Alec a Valentine's present (one of which Charli came over....hahahahaha), and almost got a shirt but it wasn't in the right size, but was awesome, so that kinda sucks. Then me Charli and Lucy went around a few shops and so forth, before they went back to the station. We went to the station via cyberdog though, which was amazing because I BOUGHT PANTS. In the wrong size so i'll change them tomorrow, but still. LOVE THEM!

Oh, it was when I was with Charli and Lucy that I got Alec's gloveses. I'm so gonna go up to Charli on Monday and say "CHARLI CHARLI LOOK AT MY PANTS" (I'll be wearing the Cybers), and wonder if Alec notices that they're his gloves. Because I would lol a lot if he doesn;t. That sounds like a knight....Sir Lolalot. heheheheh :)

Anyway, it's time to love you, leave you, and persuade Dan (my mbs..haha) to come visit before Avatar =)

Love love love xxx